The one year anniversary of The Incident (and the debut of the heroes we now know as the Avengers) approaches and Steve Rogers has given his first official interview. LIFE Magazine sat down with America's first and favorite superhero, publishing the details of their day with Rogers in a twenty-five-page spread—unprecedented but certainly not without reason.

Rogers, who went missing sixty-eight years ago, is a historical figure like no other. His contributions to the war effort as well as his disappearance in 1945 made a significant impact on American culture, politics, and society as a whole. His re-emergence among a team of superheroes brought about feelings of nostalgia from those of us who grew up hearing stories of Captain America and the Howling Commandos.

LIFE's story on the man behind Captain America is riveting, touching, and thoughtfully approaches subject matter that many have wondered about for decades. But while the world was feverishly reading about Steve Rogers, we were engrossed in one segment of the interview where Rogers answers the only question pertaining to history's biggest mystery: who is Commando #7?

When asked about the identity of the man who was undoubtedly the Captain's second in command, Rogers answered with a statement that only brings about more questions. The hero stated, "He never wanted this stuff—the interviews, the pictures, the fame. He just wanted to do his job and go home […] we could be a family. It wouldn't be right to tell you who he was. That's not what he wanted. I—I can't talk about him, I'm sorry." In between words, interviewer Ben Urich writes that Rogers sighed, cleared his throat, and readjusted his seat several times.

But why? Why is this man so hard to talk about?

He never wanted this stuff—the interviews, the pictures, the fame. He just wanted to do his job and go home.

ID: 10491460

Commando #7, often referred to as J, is a question that continuously comes up when discussing Rogers and the Howling Commandos. Entire history classes are dedicated to his legacy, investigative research spanning decades has been conducted to discover his identity, and theorists have argued at length about his influence over Rogers, his relationship with the other Commandos and, of course, why he remains unnamed.

Some people have dedicated their entire careers attempting to understand how one man can have such an impact—one almost as great as Steve Rogers himself—and yet history often only chooses to remember him in the context of Captain America, rather than the unstoppable force he was, himself. Although countless interviews and research has gone into finding out his identity, empirically, only two living people that we know of actually know who he was. They are of course, Steve Rogers and Margaret Carter.

In our attempt to understand the phenomenon, we discovered that many people have never even heard of the legendary J. Some are too young, some are disinterested, and some just don't think he is as important as history tells us he is. We decided to put together our very own Commando #7 starter pack for those who want to reminisce, those who want to be informed, and those who are curious about a nameless, faceless man who is so deeply embedded in the American way of life that perhaps they hadn't noticed his presence.

So, let's start at the beginning.

Captain Rogers on the cover of Life. LIFE Magazine

First, a few introductions.

If history isn't your thing or you've been living under a rock, then you may not be familiar with the following:

Steve Rogers aka Captain America: an American soldier who participated in a highly experimental procedure (Project Rebirth) which gave him enhanced abilities. Steve Rogers is the child of Irish immigrants who lived in Brooklyn, New York during the depression. After Rogers became Captain America, he assisted the United States army with stealth missions in Europe and eventually gave his life to ensure the safety of civilians. His efforts during World War II helped defeat the Nazis. Rogers re-emerged nearly one year ago after being frozen in ice for decades. He is currently part of the group known as The Avengers and resides in New York. He is considered the world's first superhero though recent research and evidence proves he was not the first enhanced human being. For a more extensive look at mutants, see Dr. Charles Xavier's article on genetic mutation.

The Howling Commandos: the group organized by Rogers who accompanied him on missions in Europe during World War II. The group was originally never referred or alluded to due to the dangerous nature of their careers with the U.S. Army. During the war, rumors of the group referred to them only as the 107th, which was the company the men were presumably recruited from. The group formed in November of 1943 after Rogers rescued the 107th infantry from a Hydra weapons facility. The group was comprised of Rogers, Timothy Dugan, Jim Morita, James Montgomery Falsworth, Jacques Dernier, Gabriel Jones, and Commando #7, also known as J or Bear. The Commandos are heavily discussed in this article, but for more a in depth look at each individual, see my previous piece on Commando Interviews and Information.

Margaret "Peggy" Carter: an agent of the Strategic Scientific Reserve who aided in Project Rebirth and assisted Captain America and the Howling Commandos on missions during the war. Carter was a code breaker with the British Royal Military and one of the highest-ranking officers involved in grounds level operations. She continued her work for the SSR after Rogers' disappearance and in 1965, twenty years after the war, was honored as Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire. Through her various charities and organizations, Carter has continued to influence the political landscape though she has never held office in America. For more information on this amazing woman, visit her official website.

SHIELD: an organization we are still attempting to understand. On the surface, SHIELD was founded by Margaret Carter and Howard Stark and served as an intelligence agency following World War II. SHIELD worked in cooperation with the British Armed Forces, the United States Army and United States Marine Corps and is said to have been born from the Strategic Scientific Reserve, a secret allied war agency formed in 1940. The nature of SHIELD's operation is still largely unknown however, in recent years, the organization has been associated with masked heroes such as Iron Man, War Machine and of course, Captain America. Some have theorized that Carter and Stark created SHIELD in response to the threat of Hydra as well as to protect individuals similar to Steve Rogers. Their official website offers little to no useful information.

Hydra: a Nazi "science" division. Hydra was an authoritarian terrorist organization with cult origins. In the early years of World War II, the organization was led by Johann Schmidt and aided the Nazis by providing research and resources based in genetic modifications and advanced technology. In 1945, Rogers defeated Schmidt which brought about the organization's destruction. Historians believe the missions carried out by the Howling Commandos after Rogers' disappearance were missions to eradicate any remaining Hydra personnel, while conspiracy theorists believe the organization still exists.

The book, Brothers, was a collection of anecdotes describing missions, moments, and general camaraderie that spanned over three years.

ID: 10491475

Now, a lesson in secrecy.

In 1947, Margaret Carter gave an interview where she explained that much of Rogers and company's work was still highly classified, even after his disappearance. The Howling Commandos continued their missions in Europe under many disguises and aliases. Revealing any information regarding their time with Rogers would have put the remaining team members in immediate danger.

The appearances of the Howling Commandos were also never revealed in photos or videos, save for Rogers, who began his career as a literal poster boy for the American army. According to Carter, this also meant that any stealth missions could not be carried out by Rogers, much to his dissatisfaction.

However, in 1986, the identities of each Howling Commando were revealed. Several members of the company had already passed away or consented to the release of information. The reveal came shortly before Timothy Dugan wrote his memoirs in 1987. The book, Brothers, was a collection of anecdotes describing missions, moments, and general camaraderie that spanned over three years. It included several photos of the company, other soldiers they encountered on their travels, Carter, Stark, as well as military officials and citizens. Dugan included family photos from after the war and photos of Rogers from before.

During the war, however, code names were routinely used when sending and receiving telegrams or wired communications. Many of the elite company's messages to base camp that did not contain vital or classified information have been archived and are available for viewing.

(It is interesting to note that in the early years after Rogers' disappearance and after the communications were made public, many people believed the Howling Commandos' messages to base were in code due to the random nature of the messages they sent. It was later revealed by both Dugan and Carter that these messages were simply the company's way of informing the command central that they were all alive and well, but no real code was necessary—messages of that nature would have explicitly stated whether a member had been injured or killed. Furthermore, as Gabe Jones revealed in an interview with CNN recently, any crucial information was shared in person to ensure messages were not intercepted.)

Until 1986, historians remained in the dark about exactly how many Commandos there were. Logic would dictate that seven code names were used in correspondences however, due to the secrecy of their work, some argued that this was a tactic to confuse the enemy. Adding to the confusion was the fact that many of the messages shared the same tone and all were relatively short in nature, providing too little text to analyze. Communications were typed so no handwriting could be assessed. It was originally believed that Rogers himself sent official telegrams, however Dugan confirmed that only J and Jones penned those communications.

A telegram sent to Peggy Carter from J. The Smithsonian Institute

Until the publication of Brothers, the only confirmed member of the Howling Commandos was Steve Rogers. Excerpts from Dugan's book finally provided the rest:

Gabe was Beauty, Falsworth was Brave, Morita was Blossom and Dernier was Bottom. I ended up being Button and of course, Rogers was Baby. […] We called [J] by his name until that point, until we heard about the fine reputation he had received. Germans lived in fear of him: the Commando who smiled when he killed you, the man who could singlehandedly wipe out an army, the Devil himself, the American, the Bear Jew.

Now, code names were one thing, but the American Government went to great lengths to protect the identity of the Commandos using methods some have argued are morally and ethically ambiguous, even wrong.

The possibility that Beck or Barnes could be confirmed as Commando #7 sparked several research teams to revisit the evidence.

ID: 10491480

The earliest theories about who J might have been suggested that he was a close friend of Rogers. Several soldiers reported that Rogers defied direct orders when he liberated the captured soldiers, the claim being that he did so to rescue one man in particular: Commando #7. Historians debated whether this man was Lieutenant Jeffrey Beck or Sergeant James Barnes. Both were members of the 107th Infantry and were rescued by Rogers. The main argument for one of them being J is that they both lived in Brooklyn, New York around the time Rogers did. This was dismissed when information revealed that soldiers from the 3rd Independent Parachute Brigade, 69th Infantry Regiment, 92th Infantry Division, and the French Resistance were also captured at the Battle of Azzanno. Still, Beck and Barnes were the only soldiers Rogers could have had a personal relationship with prior to enlisting. The Howling Commandos were formed after Rogers returned to base, leading many to believe that the members of the elite team were among the rescued soldiers. Still, the claims about Beck and Barnes were again dismissed when Beck was confirmed dead in France and Barnes returned home, being given an honorable discharge.

After the 1986 release of information regarding the other Commandos, however, investigative journalists discovered that all members of the team had similar stories attributed to their time in the army. Officially, Dugan was missing in action, Falsworth and Morita were transferred, and Dernier and Jones elected to return to the United States. The possibility that Beck or Barnes could be confirmed as Commando #7 sparked several research teams to revisit the evidence.

Dugan provided another hint that coincided with both soldiers. In one of his more emotional passages, he wrote that, [J's birthday] "was nearly three months away" from Christmas, and reiterated the time of his death to be in January. The statement, combined with the official telegram that stated Bear was MIA and the team were conducting a search of the area, provided researchers with solid dates.

The telegram in question was sent January 13th, 1945. Curiously or coincidentally, Jeffrey Beck and James Barnes were both born on March 10th, 1917.

Still, journalists turned up empty. The family of Lieutenant Beck refused to cooperate with reporters, citing harassment. The family of Sergeant Barnes simply denied the claims, stating that Barnes had a difficult time upon returning home and passed away at a young age due to injuries sustained at his factory job. Out of respect for the families of these soldiers, no further investigations were conducted, though many still believe one of them is J.

Howling Commandos from left to right: Morita, Dernier, Dugan and Falsworth.The Smithsonian Institute

Brothers offers the most information to date...

If you know how to read between the lines, that is.

Dugan has often been called an "unreliable narrator" when it comes to the passages in Brothers. At one point in the book, he states that he has "never forgotten one detail about the time [he] spent with [his] brothers," yet Carter and Jones have both countered some of what he wrote in their own interviews over the years with Carter stating that "Timothy embelleshes sometimes." Still, the novel gives us the most insight into who Bear was as a person, as a friend, and as a soldier. It also paves the way for the impact that J had on the world, specifically in the United States in a cultural and political manner. We'll get to that soon, but first, this is what we know for sure, from Timothy Dugan himself.

In 1944: "Bear killed fourteen Krauts with a pocket knife and a broken collar bone." J's family has "six mouths to feed", he had at least one brother and at least one sister. J had enough knowledge to teach Steve all about guns. J and Steve knew each other before the war, Dugan says "they were best friends." J spoke English, German, French, Yiddish, Dutch, Irish, Italian.

We don't know much, but we do know this:

1. Based on eyewitness accounts, J was tall (though shorter than Rogers) with dark brown hair and bright blue eyes. He is described as having "a beautiful smile".
2. He was born in March and had at least two siblings. Dugan mentions both his parents being alive when he went missing and there have been several mentions of a sister and brother.
3. Commando #7 was among the men who suffered the most torture while in captivity, and was described as being distant and often withdrawn. These personality traits followed him into the Howling Commandos which is why he was thought to be the most dangerous of the men—some said he was quiet while others called him troubled, and Dernier himself is quoted as once believing "that Bear would snap and we wouldn't be able to control what he did." 4. Despite this, he was the friendliest of the company and the first to make friends while they were on the road. Many of the stories about J come from people who met him in passing. 5. He was the company's sniper, though it is unconfirmed if this was his role in the army or just within the Commandos.

Now onto one of the biggest questions ever asked.

Why was J so important to the Howling Commandos, specifically Captain Rogers? Aside from the obvious fact that he was an essential part of the team, he seemed to have influence over the other men and other people that the known Commandos lacked. That isn't to say they weren't charismatic themselves—their infamy on the battlefield is equally matched by their reputation of being kind, generous, and a general hit with the ladies. Still, the stories about J seem to be on another level.

J's combat abilities were often compared closely to Rogers'. While Rogers was literally engineered to be the perfect soldier, several commanding officers made statements alluding to J being superior. He was praised as a proficient fighter, an expert marksman (which makes sense as he was the company's sniper), and a master tactician and strategist. That alone makes him invaluable to the Commandos, however there is evidence to suggest he also served as something of a lifeline—a connection to humanity and home that the soldiers so desperately needed.

So, what made J special? The theories are endless; however, we've highlighted our top 3 reasons why he is the #1 Commando in our hearts and the hearts of those who knew him.

1. J was just a nice person. In a time of war, far from home, he somehow managed to stay in the light. As Dugan explains in a chapter about home, J "gave the best hugs a guy could get." According to almost everyone who met him, with notable Hydra exceptions, J was a sweetheart. Although Peggy Carter's own LIFE interview nearly twenty years ago told the story of how she and J got off on the wrong foot, she called him "one of [her] best friends" and began crying when she talked about the day he died. She credits him with keeping the boys sane and bringing her flowers when she broke an arm in the line of duty, something she expressed warmed her heart to that day.

Other friends have told of the effect J had on others. In 1974, Howard Stark was famously quoted as saying, "I think everyone was in love with him in some way; I know I was. He'd talk at you and everything was right, no matter what was happening at the time. He was the first person I'd look for in a crowd and you could find him easily—that smile. That smile broke a lot of hearts." Although Rogers himself has yet to comment, Jim Morita once stated that J was everyone's best friend, even people he had just met. Falsworth teared up when asked about the relationship between the Commandos and expressed his regret that he didn't get to see what J would become when he got home. He said that, "he would have done great things. He would have made so many people happy."

Soldiers who encountered the Commandos during the war seemed to take to him quite easily and it appeared that those in command let him off the hook for minor infractions such as cursing in official telegrams and mouthing off to superior officers.

The most heartwarming account comes from Patricia Davies, who encountered J in a small town in France. Davies, along with fourteen other men and women, were interviewed in 1991 about their experiences with J for the documentary The Man History Forgot. During the interviews, Davies recalled the night she and J spent drinking before their companies separated.

"We were standing at the bar of this pub and he leaned in close and grinned at me, asked if I wanted to know a secret. I guess that was just the kind of guy he was. And I'll tell you the secret too, because I don't think he'd mind and I think Captain Rogers would find it funny if he were here to hear about it. He told me he had gone around drawing mustaches and devil horns on all the Captain America posters posted around the city; drawing speech bubbles that said Fuck Hitler; ruining the perfect image the government wanted Rogers to have. It was harmless but it made him laugh and he had a good laugh, that boy. I told him a secret too, a silly one, and it carried on like that for hours until we were telling each other things we had never told anyone else before. That was just the kind of guy he was and I couldn't help but be taken in with him. I was crying by the end of it, talking about my Ma, and he was holding my hand across the table, not a care in the world what people thought about that. He was holding my hand and telling me how afraid he was that he'd never get home again. There was something I heard about him, before I even met him. I heard that he never told anyone his real name. I don't know why—seemed odd. He'd introduce himself as Bob or Bill or Jakob. I heard someone in the bar that night call him Eddie. But that night, drunk on whiskey and holding hands in the corner of that bar, he told me his real name. He made me promise that I'd take it to my grave, and I will, I sure will. I never understood why. I know he died and I hope to God he was buried with his right name but if he wasn't, it's in my heart; always was, always will be.

Davies' story was the final shot of the documentary; a final glimpse into who J was as a person. Although the documentary didn't gain the recognition it deserved, it did earn an underground following that solidified it as one of the most honest and emotional films of the century. Many critics believe it should have won the Oscar in 1992 while others failed to see the impact it made. It is also important to note that Davies met J in 1945 when she started her service, the same year that J died. And last, which leads us into our next point, Patricia Davies was born Peter Davies and only recently came out as transgender. During her service, she had not revealed her true identity to anyone—she confirmed with us that she had revealed it to J on that night.

An excerpt from Dugan's book on nicknames. Timothy Dugan

2. He was an advocate for minorities, women's rights, and the LGBTQ community. It was always theorized that J was Jewish, based on accounts of him speaking Yiddish and his general genial attitude towards Jewish people in Europe. J was also said to be particularly vicious toward German soldiers who hurt or killed Jewish women and children. His Jewish heritage was confirmed by Dugan's account of nicknames and several accounts from German soldiers who affirmed the stories about the Bear Jew. The Howling Commandos themselves were a unique group consisting of Japanese, British, French, Jewish, Irish, and two Americans, one who was black. The American government was apparently not too keen on this choice. Rogers hand-picked the team in an act that has been referred to as bold and defiant as well as "outlandishly political." Not everyone at the time agreed with having an integrated army. J was apparently outspoken about the army's general treatment of people of color; Chester Philips fondly recalled a letter he received telling him off for not recognizing the efforts of "the army's most valued yet underappreciated men".

J was also known for punching his way through bars. Many eyewitnesses recall him stepping in when a lady was being harassed and using his fists to make their messages clear. Although some have said he was a ladies' man and was constantly going home with women or taking them to his room (on the occasions when the company passed through small towns and stayed in inns and villas), interviews conducted in the towns the Commandos stayed in have proved otherwise. Some declassified information allowed researchers to visit with host families and towns in Italy and France. One woman called J a perfect gentleman who merely walked women home so they would be safe; another says he did invite her back to his room, but the two spent the night reading together and talking about their lives.

J had great respect for Peggy Carter and was apparently reprimanded for only taking orders from her rather than her superior officer. The story goes that her superior underhandedly insulted her causing J to completely ignore his commands. The matter got so out of hand that Rogers himself was called in; however, Rogers (and by extension, the Commandos) sided with J. This was the event that would lead to Carter overseeing all ground operations. In 1944, J encountered the Pistol Packin' Mamas and was apparently besotted with their flight abilities. He is said to have idolized Roza Shanina and Lyudmila Pavlichenko (fellow snipers) and apparently told Falsworth "he thought his heart was gonna break because Nancy Wake barely looked at him."

Although J was a fan of the ladies, many people actually thought (and still think) he was gay. J was apparently overly affectionate with fellow Commandos and soldiers like Davies. He was often seen holding hands with Rogers and embracing Dugan—this is addressed in Brothers as Dugan expresses how true the title of the book is and how J seemed to always know when someone was missing their family and in need of comfort. Being gay during World War II meant that you couldn't enlist, leaving many gay men who wanted to serve their country with no choice but to hide their sexuality. Although J was never romantically linked to anyone, one soldier in Ornans, France who approached J in a pub one night claimed that the Commando insisted he was spoken for.

Theories about his sexuality sprouted from his advocacy for gay men and women in France and his outspoken nature about the inequality of LGBTQ people in America. J, Rogers and Carter reportedly attended parties hosted by Josephine Baker where J would "disappear for hours" befriending gay men and lesbians. Baker once dedicated a performance of Paris Chéri to J whom she referred to as le garçon qui aime tous—the boy who loves all.

Among J's possessions as displayed in the Smithsonian Institute, there is a worn copy of the Iliad which has several passages circled, underlined, and otherwise marked.

ID: 10491481

3. J and Rogers were in a relationship. Easily one of the most popular theories out there, the evidence that J was in a romantic relationship with Steve Rogers is overwhelming yet unconfirmed. All members of the Howling Commandos are relatively mum about the nature of their relationship, only making vague statements that could be viewed as platonic or romantic. Rogers himself refuses to speak on the matter and those who knew the pair intimately, namely Carter and Stark, have both eloquently danced around the subject.

During his interview with Playboy Magazine in 1956, when asked if Rogers and J were romantically linked, Stark answered the question with a question. "Is it any of our business?" he asked the interviewer, and then elaborated. "Rogers and J, they were closer than any people you'd ever meet. They were family, they loved each other, and you can take that whatever way you want. Were they together? That's not my story to tell, and neither one of them is here to answer that for you, so I guess you'll never know."

Carter had a similar experience when discussing personal relationships during the war. Many people believed she and Rogers to be linked—due in large part to a photo of Carter in Rogers' compass. The compass was caught on film for a recruitment video and has been used as the basis for many historians' belief that they were a couple. Although Carter dismissed these claims in 1947 (the photo was actually put in Rogers' compass by Jones who thought the Captain needed a reminder not to be so reckless), the compass has also been used by right-wing and religious groups as a symbol of Captain America's "true American ideals" and to oppose those who believe Rogers to be an LGBTQ figure.

Over the years, Conservatives and far-right Christian groups have attached themselves to Rogers, making claims that the Captain would have sided with them on political and social matters. Several of the Commandos have vehemently denied such claims citing Rogers' past as a poor immigrant who lived with multiple disabilities and who was raised by a single mother. Those who knew Rogers before he became Captain America have spoken out about his friends in Brooklyn's gay community as well as his artistic nature and the charity work he did all while he, himself, was struggling to make ends meet.

In later years, similar groups attempted to use J's legacy as their new symbol of Conservative America. This, of course, backfired against them when more research was done to discover J's identity and the history of his liberal nature unfolded. Still, some historians refuse to even entertain the idea that Rogers and J could have been gay, bisexual, or belonging to another sexuality. The idea that two American heroes might not be straight is one that baffles most old white males and ruins the image of a strapping, woman-seducing Rogers that most Republican housewives who supported both Bush administrations cling to.

Carter never explicitly answered the question about Rogers and J, only rebuffing the claims of romance between herself and Steve. She did, however, offer this statement a little later in the interview, which has been heavily analyzed and discussed: "As you know, I married Gabe Jones shortly after the war. I think a lot of us found love then, even in such a hopeless place. I did, I know Timothy did, and Monty and Jacques. People lost love and people, I suppose, misplaced love. And then there were others who were lucky enough to have it every day and I was lucky enough to be in the presence of such greatness, and such beauty, such warmth. I didn't know I loved Gabe until I saw what love looked like and recognized it in myself. Perhaps all of us were like that—we saw it and we wanted it. I don't think it was jealousy or envy, it was just wonderful that we could bear witness to it, and we were all the better for it."

Peggy Carter. SSR

Eyewitness accounts have Rogers and J practically attached at the hip at every possible occasion. Dugan himself called J a sweet talker who was the only person who could bring Rogers back from a mood; he also tells us that Rogers got the name Baby because that's what J called him. Many soldiers recall hearing J call Rogers merst balibt (מערסט באַליבט) and some have heard him refer to Rogers as Philtatos (φίλτατος)—both phrases separately mean most beloved and beloved, spoken in Yiddish and Greek. The phrase is derived from the Iliad; the name which Achilles called his lover, Patroclus. Among J's possessions as displayed in the Smithsonian Institute, there is a worn copy of the Iliad which has several passages circled, underlined, and otherwise marked.

Add to that the fact that when the Commandos were allowed the luxury of staying at an inn, villa, or hotel, and the men were able to have their own quarters, there were still only six rooms provided. Skeptical historians argue that this is because Rogers' serum allowed for him to survive on little sleep and he therefore did not require a room, however scientists who worked with the SSR in later years to understand the biology of the serum concluded that sleep was still required though not as necessary. The theory that Rogers was visiting Carter at night was dismissed as well when Carter told a journalist to go fuck himself during a live interview. Some military personnel suggested that two members of the team may have stayed awake during the night to strategize, while others dismiss these attempts to grasp at straws altogether and have concluded that two of the men must have slept together.

In 1978, when speaking to veterans at a conference, Morita told the story of one of the company's stays in a hotel. The story detailed the men finally having a hot bath, wearing clean clothes and eating food that didn't come in a can. He painted a beautiful picture of a simple weekend in a war-torn country, of a luxury the men wouldn't see again until after the war was over. They had wine and cheese and danced well into the night. He recalls Gabe kissing Carter by the fire and Dugan meeting Mary Alcott, who would later become his wife. The last bit of his story ends with, "We all went back to our rooms and got to sleep in for once. It didn't last long—I had to go to Steve's room and wake him and Bear up, they slept so late, but at least we got breakfast that morning."

We are searching, but we still can't find a heterosexual reason for that statement.

One of 2 known photographs of J. Timothy Dugan

What do we know?

To belong everywhere, you must first belong nowhere.

ID: 10491460

We know that people loved him. We know that the Howling Commandos loved him. We know that he was a good person who did bad things to bad people. We know that he was Jewish. We know that he loved to read, that he could have a conversation about the stars with a person he had just met and made an impression on every single person he crossed paths with.

We know that he had a sense of humor. We know that he was loyal and honest. We know that he could fight, that he stood up for what he believed in. We know that he died before his birthday. We know that he introduced himself with fake names but told people he trusted who he truly was. We know that he was sympathetic and kind and sweet. We know that he changed so many lives and he would have changed more. We know that even after his death, people still looked up to him, people still thought about him, people still missed him. We know that he changed us, even though we never met him, even though we don't know his name, even though we only have a memory of a memory to go by.

We know that people have tried and are trying and will continue to try and find out more about him. But this is where we stop. It's like Steve Rogers said: he didn't want any of this. And although we delivered a whole mess of information to you, we did so because we wanted to tie it all up in a neat package and send it off. This is our goodbye.

So, we leave you with this: wise words from someone just like us; someone who didn't know him, but who loved him.

I grew up with heroes who didn't have names, people who no one ever knew were saving the world even though they were risking their lives every single day to make sure we were safe. My father used to tell me about them—The Howling Commandos. He told me about Steve a lot, but he also told me about J, and when I was a kid, I wanted to be him. I didn't know anything about him, really, just what dad told me. He was bigger than life, he was better than anything. When I was younger, I used to have nightmares. When I was afraid, I'd think about him. I'd imagine he looked just like me but taller and he would swoop in and scare the bad guys away. My father never told me his name, he said that J didn't want that, and I know why now: J isn't a person, not anymore. He isn't an idea, either. He's something more. He's me, and he's you, and he's everyone who has ever stood up for something even though the odds didn't look so good. J is the hero we all need, the hero who looks like us. A friend once said to me, "To belong everywhere, you must first belong nowhere."

This article was supported by the Margaret Carter Foundation’s Equal Voice Journalism Fellowship.